The Game

There’s a particular kind of hesitation that doesn’t look like hesitation.

It looks like wanting to get it right.

I spent years playing rugby through school and university.

From the outside, I looked confident.

Committed. Energetic. In the game.

What wasn’t visible was the conversation in my head.

There were games I didn’t want to play.

Not because I didn’t care.

But because I wanted to play well.

And the possibility of not playing well

was sometimes enough to make me hesitate.

It’s a strange tension.

The desire to perform at your best

quietly becoming the thing that keeps you from stepping in at all.

I’ve been thinking about that recently.

Not about rugby.

But about how easily that same pattern shows up in leadership.

A decision delayed.

A conversation avoided.

A direction left unexplored.

Not because we are unwilling—

but because the outcome matters.

And over time, something begins to narrow.

Not capability, but participation.

The range of decisions we’re willing to take on.

The conversations we’re willing to enter.

The risks we’re willing to carry.

And the shift is subtle.

Nothing breaks.

Nothing fails.

But leadership becomes more controlled.

More careful.

And less honest about what is actually at stake in the decisions we make.

The cost isn’t just missed opportunities.

Decisions start getting shaped

by what feels safe to get right—

rather than what actually needs to be faced.

And over time, that changes the kind of leader you become.

The question isn’t whether you care about the outcome.

You do.

The question is:

Where is the desire to get it right

quietly keeping you out of the decision altogether?

__

If you’re carrying something like this and want a place to think it through clearly, the next step is a focused leadership conversation.